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The Maisano Code: Match.con?

Photo Credit: Cliffview Pilot
Photo Credit: Cliffview Pilot

So this is why comedy is my life: My sister (whose name has been changed to protect the ignorant) hasn’t had a job or boyfriend in over a year. She goes on interviews, she does dating sites. Nothin’. Then she gets called for jury duty. Me, I’d just as soon poke a fork in my eye. Not her.


” I need a job, I want a guy, I need money!!!!”

Next day she calls, all happy and peppy and bursting with… love?

Maryann Maisano



“Oh, my God, Mare, I had the best time!”

“You went to jury duty.”

“Yeah and I hope I get picked!”

“What are you, NUTS? Hell-oooo?”

“Mare, it was great. I met all these cute cops, and I have to go back tomorrow because I might get picked for the case!”

“Yeah, and get this: The guy on trial is Italian. And he is SOOOOOOO cute!”

“What?”

“And if I get picked, they give you forty dollars a day. Not bad, huh?”

“Are you shittin’ me?”

“No. I feel really good. I got out, I met people and I made friends with these two other women. God, I hope I get picked.”

“OK, look: You are sick!”

Click!

I can see it now: My sister gets picked for the jury, and the Guido gets off. Who knows? Maybe she’s the tie-breaking vote.

Then it’s just a matter of days — just watch —  before I’ll end up getting another phone call.

“Hey, Mare. Remember Louie the Lock?”

“Yeah…?”
(Oh, Christ.)

“I feel bad for him. He has nowhere to stay.”

“Don’t even….”

You just know the next call I’d make:

“Hey, Ma! Guess who’s comin’ for pasta?”

Reviewers have raved about Maryann’s music & standup. She’s opened for Joy Behar and Ray Romano, and has played The Laugh Factory, Broadway Comedy Club and Dangerfield’s. She has a CD out and will be featured on Danny Aiello’s upcoming album, “City of Light.” Judging from the looks of the packed houses, she’ll also be staging plenty more performances with the ITALIAN CHICKS, whose show has been called “part meatball, part cannoli.” For more on Maryann, the group, where they’re performing & how to get tickets, click here: ITALIAN CHICKS . Tell ’em CLIFFVIEWPILOT sent you.

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